👀 Dashain's Done, Tihar’s Toast

Namaste! We’re back! Did you miss us? Alright, admit it—you missed us at least a little bit, didn’t you? After all, we’ve both just survived the Dashain and Tihar marathon, which means food comas, marathon taas sessions, and enough family “advice” to last until, well, the next festival season. And if you’re still kicking off the day with leftover selroti and a giant cup of chiya for breakfast, just know you’re in good company.

But brace yourself—winter is coming, and while you were indulging in holiday bliss, the world didn’t take a break. Political drama, tech meltdowns, Oliba being Oliba… yeah, a lot went down. Don’t worry, though. We’re here to break it all down for you with just the right mix of news and hawa guff, so you can be in the know without actually losing any sleep.

So, pour that second cup of chiya, wrap yourself in your baaklo-est kambal, and let’s get back to the business of keeping you entertained and informed.

La Eta Hernus

Ghatanakram

Elon Musk is set for a golden four years now that Trump has won the election and Republicans control both the Senate and the House. After Musk dropped $130 million via his new America PAC to back Trump and the GOP, Trump is now promising him a VIP seat at the government’s table. The cherry on top? Trump plans to make Elon the head of the "Department of Government Efficiency"—a role Musk finds hilariously ironic, given the DOGE name, of course.

With full control over X (formerly Twitter), Musk flooded the platform with GOP-friendly disinformation, while America PAC stirred up anti-Democrat sentiment through fake Facebook and text campaigns. Musk’s dream list in his new role? A $2 trillion cut to federal spending, a green light for Tesla’s autonomous vehicles, and a lot less hassle from the FAA for SpaceX. But there’s a hiccup: Trump’s tariffs on China could hurt Tesla’s bottom line, though they might also knock out some of Musk’s EV competition in the process.

Now, everyone’s asking—how does this affect Nepal? It’s a mixed bag. While 2016 didn’t shake up our trade with the U.S. much, Trump’s immigration stance might impact Nepali students and workers if visas tighten. If that happens, our students may feel stuck with fewer options—Australia and Canada are both currently facing their own immigration hurdles, and the UK has been a mess for years now. Will Nepal finally turn into Switzerland with young talent staying put? Unlikely, to put it mildly.

With Trump returning to the White House, experts say concerns over how his “America First” policy might shape U.S. foreign policy in South Asia are valid. His close ties with Indian PM Narendra Modi suggest that Washington may strengthen its alignment with New Delhi, which Nepal will need to carefully navigate. Former Foreign Minister Ramesh Nath Pandey notes that U.S.-Nepal relations have historically remained stable regardless of who’s in the Oval Office, but the interplay between the U.S., India, and China will be key.

So, geopolitically, any real change will probably ripple down from India and China. If Trump backs out of climate agreements again, Nepal could lose funds from the Loss and Damage fund, and the dollar might get stronger, meaning good or bad news depending on your remittance flow. But no, Twitter, we’re not losing the MCC, and there’s no uranium mine in Udaypur.

Rabi dai: While the world is buzzing with Trump’s big return, back home, our very own Rabi dai is dealing with a serious legal saga. RSP chairman and former home minister Rabi Lamichhane was transferred to Rupandehi for questioning on charges of cooperative fraud, organized crime, and money laundering. On arrival in Bhairahawa, Lamichhane faced 20 questions from the district attorney, denying any knowledge of cooperative funds allegedly deposited in his name.

Meanwhile, RSP activists hit the streets, demanding his immediate release, while victims of the Supreme Cooperative fraud also staged protests, calling for justice and the return of their lost funds. Investigators allege Lamichhane and co-founder GB Rai diverted millions from the cooperative to Gorkha Media Network, which they established. The case has gripped the public, with Lamichhane defiantly telling reporters, “Baagh khor ma basera syaal hudaina…Caging a tiger doesn’t turn it into a jackal.”

While the cooperative fraud case is undeniably serious—people have lost their life savings, after all—it’s morphed into a full-blown political drama. RSP loyalists are crying foul, asking, “What about the Nepali Congress people who stole?” Meanwhile, Congress, UML, Maoists, and the older parties are taking jabs at RSP, mocking their “alternative politics” platform for transparency, now seemingly as murky as the old guard. Sure, Rabi dai’s got some dodgy optics here, but let’s be real: if he were with the traditional parties, he’d likely be handling this from the comfort of home, not from a jail cell.

One thing is for sure—RSP supporters are furious, claiming Rabi dai is being treated unfairly, and this could very well fuel his popularity even more. RSP’s vice president recently quipped that as long as Rabi dai is breathing, he’s their president—and that he’d even run the party from jail if it came to it. So, are you with Rabi dai, or not? Send us a carrier pigeon with your thoughts since Zuckerberg disbanded our Instagram. Yes, we’re still salty about that.

Fatafat

Stat: 45% of Nepali people can’t tell Sobita Gautam and Toshima Karki apart. This is still lower than the 65% of Nepalis who can’t distinguish Jhalanath Khanal from Bamdev Gautam.

That’s a totally fake stat we made up.

Consider this your friendly reminder not to trust everything you read!

Read: The sad story of Bibek, a shy Nepali mercenary who fought for Russia (Artem Chapeye, AlJazeera)

Kahi Nabhako Jaatra

Three Newsbriefs and a Lie

Three of these news headlines are real, and one is faker than Indira aunty’s golden raani haar that she flaunts on TikTok. If you click on the true headlines, the links will take you to the news articles. If you click on the fake one, you’ll be in for a surprise!

1. Supporters Rally to Defend Jailed Rabi Lamichhane… Accidentally End Up Beating Their Own Party Coordinator in the Process

   (Link to news article)

2. Sudurpaschim’s Forest Minister Hires His Wife as “Kitchen Staff” to Serve Home-Cooked Allowance Meals

   (Link to news article)

3. Nepali Trump Supporter in Pennsylvania Realizes His Vote Could End Up Deporting His Own Sister

   (Link to news article)

4. Producers of Nepali Film “Tel Visa” Accused of Scamming Staff with Fake Promises of a U.S. Trip

   (Link to news article)

🎬 Lights, Camera, Southasia!

Clear your schedule—Film Southasia is back in Kathmandu from November 21–24, 2024, and it's all about documentaries that get you thinking, laughing, crying, and maybe questioning everything over a quarter of raksi. For over 25 years, this fest has brought the most eye-opening stories from across the subcontinent straight to us, covering everything from politics to pop culture with a dash of drama. So, come for the films, stay for the heated discussions, and maybe brush shoulders with a filmmaker or two. Because let's face it—when was the last time you watched something truly real?

Eta Pani Hernus

It looks like Koshi Province’s former Minister Leela Ballav Adhikari has redefined "networking" by allegedly moonlighting as a human trafficker. Initial findings reveal that three Nepalis, who somehow passed as his ministry staff, allegedly paid a cool Rs 1 million each for a one-way ticket to Japan with forged passports. Adhikari, now claiming complete innocence, says he went solo and immediately flew back because “helping people hide out in Japan felt unpatriotic”—though the police aren’t quite buying it. Meanwhile, Chief Minister Hikmat Karki, likely still shaking his head, confirmed that Adhikari resigned after skipping several steps of the due process for his “personal” Japan trip. The police are digging further, but Adhikari’s insistence that he’s not guilty has added another layer to this passport puzzle.

Best of Twitter/Switter

Proud Gorkhali Moment

Prime Minister KP Oli has made a bold promise: a Nepal where no one falls ill. Just how he plans to pull off this miraculous feat is unclear—magic herbs from the Himalayas? A national immunity booster? Or maybe he’s got an ambitious healthcare policy up his sleeve that he hasn’t shared yet. Whatever the plan, skeptics are definitely raising an eyebrow!

A request

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