👀 You need to touch grass

Namaste! We’ll pull no punches, last week was a f**king s**tshow! So, without tying bhumika up,

La Eta Hernus

Government

This segment is all Rabi dai, as you might have expected. This week, Rabi dai, who was removed from his post as the home minister, gave the boss, Prachanda, a two-day deadline to bring him back into the fold. But when Prachanda failed to deliver, Rabi dai and his party made a dramatic exit from the government.

But the real show started when Rabi dai held a press conference that lasted a whopping 1.5 hours. It was probably the most intriguing Nepali press conference since Taranath Ranabhat went “ratatatatatta” (zoomers, look it up!). Rabi dai ranted and raved about how he had been treated unfairly by various media houses and even called out some journalists by name. And as if that wasn't enough, he also went after some Twitter users who had been (shit)posting about him. He was as unhinged as Donald Trump after an adderall binge.

Rabi dai’s citizenship fiasco, explained: Rabi dai got a Nepali citizenship in 1993. After moving to the US, he ditched one red, white, and blue for another when he got an American citizenship in 2014. He came back to Nepal in 2015 on a family and friends visa (with an American passport). However, 16 days into his stay in Nepal, he used his old citizenship (the one from 1993) to get a Nepali passport. That’s two passports, one American, one Nepali. Nepal doesn’t allow dual citizenships, so his Nepali citizenship was invalid when he got an American one. In 2015, when he traveled to the US, he used his American passport. In 2018 when he traveled to Japan and South Korea, he used his Nepali passport. So, yeah, is it illegal? Yes. Have others done worse and faced no consequences? Absolutely yes. Did we expect “alternative” forces to be less dodgy? Some of us did.

Is the media biased? Duh. Rabi dai is right in his claims that they’ve gone after him relentlessly for his passport scandal. Others have gotten away with far worse: lalita niwas scandal and omni are just two examples. However, there’s some irony in Rabi dai calling media houses out when he was THE media a mere 6 months ago. There’s also something to be said about his tone that some enjoyed, some despised, and others didn’t understand. He knows his base though.

Aftermath: The media houses weren’t happy, as you might have guessed. Take a look at the headlines a day after Rabi dai’s press conference:

Among others, Dilbhusan Pathak issued a statement. Kailash Shirohiya, who Rabi dai accused of not just disseminating biased news through his Kantipur Media Group but also dodgy financial dealings, issued a statement with five questions. Rabi dai’s supporters were all for him though, there’s several news of people from all across the country burning Kantipur and other newspapers in solidarity with Rabi dai.

Amidst the media syndicate, rise of alternative political forces, and press conferences, here’s a tweet that sort of wraps it up:

One last question: Did Rabi dai ask for the home ministry for himself or his party? Would he be chill with anyone else from RaSwaPa being the home minister? Why are they still in government? Send us snaps with your thoughts.

Tech

Google has announced the launch of a new chatbot named Bard in response to the popular AI chatbot, ChatGPT, developed by OpenAI and funded by Microsoft. CEO Sundar Pichai stated in a blog post that Bard is currently available to a select group of trusted testers and aims to provide a conversational interface to access the world's knowledge. The chatbot uses a smaller version of Google's AI model called LaMDA, which was first introduced in May 2021. The technology is similar to ChatGPT and allows Google to offer the chatbot to a larger audience while collecting feedback to improve the quality and accuracy of its responses.

Google isn’t the only company to get into this AI war. On Tuesday, Baidu Inc. of China announced that it will finish its internal testing of an AI project similar to ChatGPT called "Ernie Bot" in March, becoming a part of the growing trend of interest in generative artificial intelligence. We hope the AI wars don’t get too intense because you know what they say, an AI for an AI makes the whole world blind!

Sports

Calls to boycott the events to be organized by the Cricket Association of Nepal (CAN) have risen as the cricket regulatory body has has lifted the suspension of rape-accused cricketer Sandeep Lamichhane. The legal side of things is clear. He’s out on bail. He’s not convicted. However, should a sportsman accused of such a crime be allowed to represent the nation while we have a decision pending? Recall that he made himself look extra dodgy when the news broke out as he was literally on the run from the police for days.

Fatafat

Stat: Rabi dai’s ghanti party may be out of the government but wedding bells are ringing next year as there are 56 auspicious days (lagan) to tie the knot. Of these, 17 are in the month of Baisakh, providing ample opportunities for couples to make yet another wedding video with chaand baaliyan as the background song. You may have other reasons to stay single but you can’t blame the lack of dates!

Quote: “We want to change the world!” - Madhav Kumar Nepal, President, CPN (Unified-Socialist).

We don’t have a take on this. We didn’t even watch the full video after he said this. One of our writers didn’t even know that CPN (Unified-Socialist) was a party and they thought MaKuNe had retired from politics a while back.

Watch: We asked Shashank Shrestha, a filmmaker and founder/director at kathaharu, to recommend 2-3 Nepali movies he thinks are well-made. His recommendations are: Chiso Manche (it has its flaws but it does a road movie pretty well), Aina Jhyaal ko Putali (one of his favorite Nepali movies last year) and Hari (this one needs more attention from the masses!)

If you don’t follow @shankytalksfilms on instagram, you’re missing out on a ton of hilarious Nepali movie content.

Three news briefs and a lie

Three of these news briefs are real, and one is faker than Purnima aunty’s new raani haar that she wore to Aayush’s dog Bruno’s birthday party. Can you spot the odd one out? (Scroll all the way to the bottom for the answer).

1. Aliza Gautam, wife of Rishi Dhamala and recent member of the Nagarik Unmukti Party, is facing a storm of criticism for her idea to turn a problematic situation into a hilarious mess. Her proposal to organize a La Tomatina-style festival using vegetables discarded by farmers in Chitwan as a protest against the government has raised eyebrows and tomato-sauce stained shirts. Who said waste not, want not?

2. Nepal Telecommunications Authority has set a new high for laptop prices, buying a laptop for a whopping 50,000 USD. Experts say it's the most expensive laptop ever, but it comes with the ability to monitor internet traffic and prevent fraud. Just remember to keep an eye on your online shopping, as the authority will be watching!

3. Gulshan Jha, who was 17 two years ago, has been named the new 16-year-old captain of the Nepali U19 national cricket team. Jha has apparently discovered the secret to eternal youth, or just figured out a way to turn back time. Either way, we're pretty sure he'll be leading his team to victory for many years to come.

4. The Kathmandu traffic police have launched a new anti-drug programme called "GaPaSe," which stands for "Ganja Padartha Sewan." As you might have figured, GaPaSe is just MaPaSe with a twist. Let's just say, they're trying to make sure that everyone is "high" on life, not substances.

Eta Hernus Quiz (Exam)

Since Valentine's Day is just around the corner, we've got a whole exam for you this week to get you hyped up for the day.

A request

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(Answer to three newsbriefs and a lie: Aliza Gautam didn’t say that. Answer to Eta hernus Quiz: We don’t have an answer, that’s for you to figure out!)