👀 Raaja Aau, Desh Bachaau

Namaste and welcome back, dear readers. Feel free to scroll, like, share, and roll your eyes... for now.

This week, we’re taking a quick detour from our usual tech and tantrums to bring you a gentle reminder: our freedom of speech is currently on the achaano, and the khukuri is being sharpened on social media.

A leaked draft of a so-called "social media bill" recently made the rounds online—ironically, before it could criminalize exactly that. The proposed law would let the government jail anyone who posts, likes, shares, or subscribes to anything deemed "anti-government." Yes, even you, dear reader, typing away from Sydney, New York, or a dorm room in Prague. Apparently, Nepali citizenship now comes with an extradition clause for Facebook reacts.

Politicians are waving their hands and saying “don’t worry, it’s just a draft,” the same way someone tells you “it’s just a rash” while scratching their herpes sore.

Meanwhile, comedian Sajan Shrestha faced outrage—and calls for jail time—for mimicking a singer’s Newari accent, despite issuing an apology. The censor board snipped parts of the movie Rajgunj where KP Oli’s words about Madhesis weren’t flattering (rotten mangoes, if you’re wondering). And in a plot twist even Chandrakaanta (remember, zoomers?) would reject for being too on-the-nose, a RaPraPa leader was arrested for burning a photo of Prachanda.

Look, a society without some speech rules is just Twitter with more traffic jams. But this isn’t about keeping peace—it’s about keeping quiet. And if there's one thing we have gotten right in this country, it's letting people speak—even when their takes are colder than Kathmandu streets in January.

So, no matter where you are or what you believe, keep talking. Keep asking. Keep posting. Democracy doesn't end with a bang—it gets shadowbanned.

Here’s the news.

La Eta Hernus

Desh

Raaja Aau Desh Bachaau? Again?

Speaking of national crises—have you noticed we're getting a little too nostalgic for the monarchy lately? Pro-monarchy rallies are popping off across the country, leaving mainstream political parties looking like deer in constitutional headlights. Gyanendra Sarkar is drawing sizable crowds (and a whole lot of Facebook throwbacks), while the RPP (yes, the one with Rabindra Mishra uncle) is riding the royal wave, pushing for a “new agreement” that might just put the ex-king back on the political chessboard.

In response, parties like the Maoist Centre have slammed the brakes on their own campaigns, trying to figure out how to counter a king who's not even technically in the game. Oli, Dahal, and Deuba have all dared Shah to quit playing political lukaamaari and just contest elections like everyone else. Royalists, meanwhile, insist His Majesty doesn’t need to win votes, he just needs to ride in on a sea of street protests like it’s 2006 in reverse. Oh, and they’ve started running paid ads on Twitter (or X, for those who’ve fully committed to Elon’s rebrand), turning nostalgia into a sponsored campaign.

And yes, Gyanendra seems to be listening: he’s formed a committee to oversee his comeback tour, chaired by a sprightly 84-year-old. Because nothing says “future of Nepal” like gerontocracy.

But how did we get here?

Sure, some development indicators have ticked upward since we became a federal republic. But public frustration is peaking. Young people are fleeing the country faster than ministers flee accountability. Remittances now prop up 30% of our GDP. Rule of law, education quality, healthcare, transparency—you name it—haven’t exactly inspired national pride. Worse, the same recycled set of politicians keeps ruling with impunity, growing richer while the rest of us wonder what that whole revolution was even for. Was the goal to trade one shady monarch for four to five shady ministers and just spread the loot around?

That question is valid. But here's another one: if we haven’t managed to vote out 4–5 corrupt leaders in two decades, despite having all the democratic tools, how exactly are we planning to dethrone a king we can’t even vote against?

So, are you a rajawadi, ganatantrawadi, or just a confused onlooker? Slide into our DMs and let us know.

Loadshedding: Speaking of early-2000s horrors no one asked to relive—load-shedding is making a comeback. Despite a combined 3,500 MW of electricity (2,800 MW from private producers and 700 MW from the state-run NEA), Nepal is once again facing power cuts during peak evening hours. Energy Minister Deepak Khadka told Parliament that even the 830 MW we’re importing from India isn’t enough to keep the lights on. He also threw shade at NEA chief Kulman Ghising, claiming the real credit for Nepal’s brighter past goes to Indian imports and private investment—not heroic leadership.

Lord Durgesh: Onto a slightly brighter note, Lord Durgesh Thapa is currently levitating over the Nepali music scene with his latest banger, “Dushman Hereko Herai.” Girls want him, guys want to be him, and your hajuraama is probably dancing to him at someone’s chaurasi puja. From humble beginnings to headlining every major podcast and playlist, Durgesh has officially gone national. He’d already won hearts with spicy hits like “Rato Rato Khursani Piro Cha,” but now even the latte-sipping, playlist-gating elites of the Valley are falling under his rhinestone umbrella. Honestly, has anyone in recent memory hit this hard, this fast? We're struggling to find answers.

Reading List

1. How a Chinese battery factory sparked a political meltdown in a small Michigan town (Viola Zhou, restofworld)

2. My Friend Chooses How and When to Die (Jeannette Cooperman, Reader)

   Does death lose its sting if it is the triumph of the will, and not an act of submission?

3. The Languages Lost To Climate Change (Julia Webster Ayuso, Noema Magazine)

   Climate catastrophes and biodiversity loss are endangering languages across the globe.

Kahi Nabhako Jaatra

Three Newsbriefs and a Lie

Three of these news headlines are real, and one is faker than your friend who claims he doesn’t dig Durgesh dai’s new song. If you click on a true headline, the link will take you to the news article. If you click on the fake one, you’re in for a surprise!

1. Indian man performs abdominal surgery on himself using YouTube tutorials—stitches himself up, lands in ER.

2. Durgesh Thapa sues Bhojpuri singer Tuntun Yadav for recreating Dushman Hereko Herai without permission.

3. Dog’s severed head found in momo factory freezer in India; momos sent for forensic testing.

4. Man scams over Rs 1.27 crore claiming to be former king's bhanjaa.

Best of Twitter/Switter

Proud Gorkhali Moment

Nepal has been ranked the happiest country in South Asia and 93rd globally, proving once again that inner peace might just live somewhere between a power cut and a momo plate. Meanwhile, the United States slid to its lowest-ever ranking at 24th—down from 11th in 2012—despite all the fast WiFi and air conditioning. Moral of the story? If you want to feel happier, maybe skip the doomscrolling and log off the apps. Or just move to a village with bad signal and great chiya.

Bidesh Tira Hernus

Trump Baaje: Looks like we underestimated both Trump’s reach and his speed. With USAID now under the influence of Marco Rubio, nearly all American aid to Nepal has been frozen—just like that. Early estimates suggest around 10,000 Nepali jobs have been lost, compounding the blow from the UK’s decision to cut its foreign aid budget in half. Nationalist voices are predictably chanting about self-reliance and "swabhimaan," but here's the reality: most of the people losing their livelihoods aren’t some elite "dollareys." They’re young Nepalis, just scraping by, and now likely planning to leave the country if they get the chance. Pulling foreign support with zero contingency plan is less "bold sovereignty" and more economic cliff dive. Also, just in: a French scientist was reportedly denied entry into the U.S. after officials found anti-Trump messages on their phone—because nothing says “land of the free” like border agents scrolling your WhatsApp.

Ragebait Influencers: In viral absurdity news, one man’s outrage-bait lifestyle video racked up half a billion views on Twitter this week—proof that if you flex hard enough, the internet will both hate-watch and reward you. The video, dripping with affluence and absurd morning routines, left millions confused, enraged, and—secretly—maybe a little curious. Credit where it’s due: the guy played the algorithm like a grandmaster plays chess with a flamethrower. Digging deeper, we found this genre now has regional chapters—a white dude’s version, an Asian version, an Indian religious bro’s version, and yes, even an Indian religious ladies’ edition. If you’ve seen more unhinged entries in this growing cinematic universe of toxic mornings, hop into our Discord and drop the links. Misery, as it turns out, loves reels.

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