👀 Raajdurbar Hatyakaanda

Namaste! Alternative politics is hogging the headlines this week like it's going out of style, so we're diving headfirst into the fray. Buckle up, because this week's newsletter is longer than a politician's promise, and we're here to make sense of it all with a side of sass.

La Eta Hernus

Desh

Rabi dai: It's been one year since Rabi dai's (in)famous press conference. If you need a reminder of his unhinged rants and what went down, here's a link to our newsletter from that week. A year later, Rabi dai organized another press conference. This time around, he wasn’t as harsh, unhinged, nor accusatory. He was meek (and very handsome). Let's dive into what went down.

Rabi dai used to work for Galaxy TV, right? The owner, GB Rai, is apparently a really shady dude. Rai owned a bunch of financial cooperatives in the country and what he did was he lent out money to himself to fund Galaxy TV from the cooperatives. This is illegal, as financial cooperatives are only permitted to lend money to their own members. So Kantipur comes down and accuses Rabi dai of collaborating with Rai and doing shady business. Rabi dai denies, vehemently. Then Kantipur is like, "We may not pay our employees, but the unpaid ones always write facts, Rabi dai." They go on to produce letters (financial document stuff, pretty boring so we won't link it) showing that Rabi dai took 18 million from cooperatives to purchase 15% of Galaxy shares. Rabi dai denies this again. Kantipur is like, “No, we got receipts!” and they produce receipts. Rabi dai denies it, makes a bunch of excuses, none convincing, and that is about where we are.

It seems like a he-said-she-said scenario where Rabi dai throws shade at Kantipur and Kantipur throws receipts. But the press conference was quite different. Rabi dai had Anil Keshary Shah (moustached businessman), Swarnim Wagle, and Sumana Shrestha, among others, in the panel with him. It looked almost like a panel from IIDS on the future of Nepal. Oh wait, those don’t have women. The point is, Rabi dai brought the whole force. Swarnim, Sumana, Anil didn’t say this but it was almost like they were saying, “Rabi dai is the lord and savior of RaSwaPa and we’re with our homie, we’re his ride or die.” Did they throw themselves under the bus? Will this affect Mission 84? Do people care? Why does Kantipur hate Rabi dai so much? What moustache oil does Anil Keshary Shah use? How is GB Rai such a good swindler? This has left us with more questions than answers. But one thing is clear, something shady definitely happened, and Rabi dai probably isn’t all that innocent. Swarnim, Sumana, and Anil will never leave his side. Alternative politics boom.

More RaSwaPa: That isn't all RaSwaPa was in the news for last week. As Rabi dai vs Kantipur was unfolding, Sumana Shrestha and Doctor Raamesh Koirala were having their own beef on Twitter. You all know who Sumana Shrestha is. Dr. Raamesh Koirala is a surgeon and he's very popular on Twitter. Think of him as a witty boomer shitposter. He's really passionate about his work and his workplace, the Shahid Gangalal National Heart Centre, and he's somewhat passionate about the Nepali Congress.

It all started when Ukaalo published an article by Dr. Malakh Shrestha, a surgeon from Amrika, who wrote about his return to Nepal and how he couldn't work for more than a month due to systemic issues (NRN haru sab tyai bhanchan yo desh ko system nai kharab cha). Maybe Malakh Sir didn’t join the Farkeka Nepali facebook group that meets for beers in Jhamsi. But we digress. Sumana shared that article with a message emphasizing the need to improve working conditions for surgeons wanting to return to Nepal. This apparently hit Dr. Raamesh in the feelies; he responded with his take, stating, "When I was the coordinator of Gangalal and some surgeon came through and operated on four patients and they died, haamile tyo sahaj maandiyau." We're not translating the last bit to English as the phrase loses its meaning, and it's important to this story.

He also subtweeted both Sumana and Ukaalo news later, though those comments aren't as central to the narrative. Perhaps Dr. Raamesh was implying, "y’all don’t know the first thing about running a surgery." That's fair. But his casual reference to the deaths stirred up a controversy.

Sumana screenshotted the tweet and posted it on Twitter, stating that she'd asked the Nepal Medical Council several questions, one of which involved looking into deaths.

Dr. Raamesh was furious; he declared on Twitter that he wouldn't perform any surgeries until the Medical Council addressed Sumana's inquiries.

Looking Forward: There’s really nothing to look forward to. We think adults need to act like adults. How can a heart surgeon cease operations, especially with Valentine's Day on the horizon? Has Sumana hired Orry as her PR rep? What's with all the drama? That's the latest scoop on RaSwaPa. Let us know your thoughts on Twitter.

Tech 

Fake News: So this Twitter handle called 'World of Statistics' (@stats_feed) posted a top ten list of the happiest countries in the world last week. Like all their posts, there was no source for the data used to generate their rankings. A seasoned Nepali troll, @daamijhaakri, saw the post and, as she does, crafted something evil. She replaced Finland from the number one spot with Nepal, changed her username to 'World of Statistics,' and sat down with a cup of tea to watch the ensuing drama. People went wild; some were gloating with pride because Nepal was mentioned. Some questioned how we could be happy when the king isn't back yet. Some tried to educate others that daamijhaakri is a fraud. Still, the tweet had 103k impressions, 408 retweets, 1.1k likes, and 180 comments. That's pretty massive for a Nepali Twitter account.

The tweet got so massive that it was fact-checked. Many questioned the time the fact-checkers had on hand to fact-check a post like this. Others saw it as a service to the public.

There are issues with this. Someone could be fooled by the tweet. Your mom could be at a saptaha and go, “World of Statistics le bhaneko hami sabai happiest re.” Then, Indira aunty would go, “Chya haina dijju tyo fake ho ali chinna siknus tapailaai audaiana raicha internet.” You know how mean boomers are when they know they're right. But this still raises the question of why we're so obsessed with rankings and lists. Second in hydro, bravo! First in atithi satkaar, freaking bravo. Happiest? Some random tweet account says it, let's get on with spreading the news. Why are we like this? I guess accounts like daamijhaakri are responsible for spreading falsities and that shouldn't happen. However, should we be less obsessed with rankings? Rankings of Arthur Gunn and Prashant Tamang all the way to your uncle's friend's daughter who desperately needs likes to win Tokha ko Miss SEE contest. Is daamijhaakri the only one to blame? Like the question 'hatti baliyo ki hatti chhap chappal,' we think the answer lies somewhere in the middle.

Take this newsletter, for instance. We titled it "Raajdurbar Hatyakaanda," but there's nothing about the Raajdurbar Hatyakaanda in this issue. We did it for the likes, the bell icon, and the subscribes and stuff. Don't trust everything you see on the internet; let this be a life lesson.

Fatafat

Quote: हिन्दु अधिराज्य र राजा स्वीकार्ने भए कांग्रेसको भाइ भएर हिँड्न राप्रपा तयार छः लिङ्देन

Thikai cha, Congress ko bhai hunus, Maaobaadi sanga Congress ko situationship chadai cha, hajoor haru bhai hunus.

Watch: The British miniseries "Mr. Bates vs The Post Office" not only won over critics but also stirred up a national reckoning in the UK, prompting the government to step in. The show spotlighted the unjust plight of over 900 Post Office employees wrongly prosecuted due to glitches in the accounting software, turning their lives upside down. The small screen's big impact has led to petitions, inquiries, and even Prime Minister Rishi Sunak announcing a whopping $765,000 compensation for each falsely convicted employee—if Parliament gives it the green light.

We watched it on an illegal site, we’re sure you’ll figure out where to watch it should you be so inclined.

Explore: Coffee, Tea, and Me

We saw a review of this place in The Kathmandu Post, and a bunch of Twitter users swear by it. Check it out if it seems like your kind of thing.

Read: So, you know we read a bunch of newspapers and blogs to gather information to present to you every week. One of those is a newsletter called "Off the Record" by Pranaya Rana. In the newsletter, he dives into one singular issue that defined the past week. This week, he's written about "The Media in Crisis." We highly recommend it.

Kahi Nabhako Jaatra

Sports

Nepal's U-19 cricket team turned the tables in a nail-biter against Afghanistan, sneaking into the Super Six stage of the 2024 ICC World Cup with just a wicket to spare - talk about living on the edge! Captain Dev Khanal led the charge with a gutsy half-century, turning a low-scoring tussle in East London into a heart-stopping thriller. While Afghanistan's batting lineup crumbled like piro aalu chips, Nepal's Akash Chand played the wrecking ball, bagging five wickets and setting the stage for a dramatic finish. In the end, it was a wide ball and a cheeky boundary that sealed the deal, pushing Nepal into the big league and leaving fans on the edge of their seats.

Three news briefs and a lie

Three of these news briefs are real, and one is faker than Rabi dai claiming he knows nothing about GB Rai’s dealings. Can you spot the odd one out? (Scroll all the way to the bottom for the answer).

1. Really fat and really skinny armed forces personnel are facing a ban from heading to the UN mission because they don't meet the height-weight requirements.

2. Tribhuwan International Airport hit "snooze" on smooth operations last week, thanks to a crew that ditched the runway for the Lok Sewa Exams. Turns out, juggling air traffic and government exams is the real test of multitasking!

3. In Odisha, India, fans have taken their adoration for Nepali Indian Idol sensation Menuka Pandey to divine heights, erecting an idol of her in a local temple.

4. In Kolkata, a suicidal man climbed down a bridge after the cops lured him with a plate of biryani.

Eta Pani Hernus

Young blood: Pradeep Pariyar, the 'record holder' Deputy Secretary, kicked off his new role at the Kathmandu Metropolitan City office with some flair this Wednesday. At the spry age of 34, Pariyar is steering the ship of the capital's administration, marking a full-on youth takeover in leadership roles. Previously, while the city's Mayor Balendra Sah and Deputy Mayor Sunita Dangol were already making waves under 35, the top admin gigs usually went to the more... let's say, seasoned crowd. But with Pariyar stepping in, it's official: Kathmandu's admin and political leadership are now in the hands of the young guns, promising a fresh, maybe even hip, approach to city governance.

Visit Visama: The immigration department just dropped their latest mixtape, "New Rules for Wanderlust," and while most tracks are chill, there's one that's got everyone's feathers ruffled. Venturing abroad on a visit visa now demands you either book a hotel reservation or snag an invite from a host who's basically family (within your 3 pusta). So, for those hoping to globe-trot to their situationships, it's a hard pass. Yo desh ma long distance love garne baatabaran nai chaina.

Bidesh Tira Hernus

Zoomers: Chipotle, the place where NRNs go because “kasto Nepal jasto khaana”, is now luring Gen Z hires with mental health perks. As we gear up for burrito season, the California-based chain is on a hiring spree, aiming for 19,000 new staff—a 27% boost from last year. In a move to spice up the workplace, Chipotle plans to offer mental health sessions, 401(k) contributions, and access to credit-building tools like Cred.ai and SoFi.

Trump Baaje: In a political showdown, Trump emerged victorious in the New Hampshire GOP primary, leaving Nikki Haley in the dust. Sad day for Brown people. Haley, now facing a steep uphill battle in her home state, might be feeling the pressure to gracefully exit the race. Meanwhile, over on the Democratic front, President Biden pulled off a win without even showing up on the ballot – a power move after the primary location dispute with New Hampshire.

Oppenheimer Style: Oppenheimer is the Oscar MVP, flexing with 13 nominations—Christopher Nolan's epic is basically the Beyoncé of the awards season. Poor Things and Killers of the Flower Moon are in hot pursuit with 11 and 10 nods, probably practicing their red carpet poses. Meanwhile, Barbie got eight nominations but no love for Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie. Get your popcorn ready for the Oscars on March 10, because Oppie's stealing the show!

Jai Shree Modi: A colossal $217 million Hindu temple has just opened its doors on a controversial holy site in India, making it the architectural equivalent of a blockbuster movie premiere. Prime Minister Modi, in the midst of his re-election hustle, inaugurated the Ram Mandir, a project decades in the making that's stirring up more than just concrete. While some see it as a symbol of religious unity, others dub it Modi's "electoral stunt," adding a dash of drama to India's political scene.

A request

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(Answer to three newsbriefs and a lie: The third one is a lie. )

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