👀 Ukraine dhwasta Rus le

Namaste! The country finds itself entangled in corruption scandals, with astonishing sums of money being accumulated by individuals, leaving us astounded. How is it possible for someone to make millions in a single transaction? Should we all have pursued careers in politics? Although none of us here in the writers' room possess the charisma or ethical flexibility required, we can at least fulfill our duty by keeping you all informed. Therefore,

La Eta Hernus

Government

The fake Bhutanese refugee corruption scandal is making waves in our country! High-level politicians are getting caught up left and right, and rumor has it that a major criminal investigation is about to shake things up even more. Meanwhile, Nepal is making headlines for all the wrong reasons. The United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees is raising eyebrows and accusing the country of some serious state-sponsored fraud involving those Bhutanese refugees. This scandal is so scandalous, it could make organized crime blush! We don't have any verdicts yet, just a bunch of arrests, but let us fill you in on some of the wild stuff that went down:

Remember Top Bahadur Rayamajhi (from Emaale)? The guy who was playing hide-and-seek with the authorities? Well, he finally decided to make an appearance and guess what? He got promptly arrested. During his court hearing, he tried to plead his case, mentioning his hernia and other health issues. But you know what the judge said? "Hey, I've got my fair share of health problems too!" Talk about a witty judge!

Then there's Bal Krishna Khaand from the Congress party. When the cops showed up at his doorstep, he locked himself in, grabbed a Barasinghe beer, and went into full lockdown mode. But when they discovered a secret piece of paper (who knows what was written on it), Khaand took matters into his own hands, quite literally. He swiftly snatched the paper, chewed it like a pro, and swallowed every last bit. Not even a single crumb left behind! Oh, and his wife? Well, she apparently had the same idea and fled the scene. Some say she's at Rice Spice Dice in Australia now.

And let's not forget Aarjoo Deuba. She made a few press appearances this week, passionately denying any involvement in the Bhutanese refugee scandal. In fact, she even went as far as swearing on her beloved son that she never took a single penny from it. Talk about a dramatic statement!

Setting aside the absurdity of these events, let's not forget the seriousness of this unprecedented corruption and its real-life consequences. To give you a taste, here's a Twitter thread that perfectly exemplifies the situation.

Tech 

• OpenAI founder Sam Altman is on a mission to dethrone Elon Musk as the top billionaire-innovator, and he's got a lot on his plate. He's securing a whopping $100 million funding round for Worldcoin, a cryptocurrency project that uses eye scans to verify users and distribute universal basic income. But that's not all! Altman is also backing a nuclear fission startup and investing in research to extend human lifespan. While some worry about the potential chaos, Altman insists he's aware of the risks. Brace yourself for a cyberpunk manga come to life!

• Get ready to be amazed by Caryn Marjorie, the Snapchat influencer who struck gold with her AI alter ego, CarynAI! According to Fortune, she raked in a whopping $71,000 in just a week by offering fans the chance to have their own virtual girlfriend for just a buck a minute. With over 1,000 "boyfriends" already on board, CarynAI is on track to bring in a mind-boggling $5 million per month. Brace yourself for the future of dating, folks!

Fatafat

Stat: 109.1 billion. Hold on to your wallets! Nepal has been raking in the dough with record-breaking remittance inflows. Last month alone, a whopping Rs 109.1 billion made its way back home. The good news doesn't stop there, as the country's forex reserves and balance of payment have also seen significant improvement, thanks to some clever moves by the government and central bank. However, amidst the celebration, keep an eye on rising inflation in the food and services department. Time to tighten those purse strings while enjoying the economic rollercoaster!

Quote: Congress leader Shashank Koirala stated, "Corruption garaun, tara kam garaun!" Although his intention might have been to convey the inevitability of some corruption, people focused on the initial part of his statement, and understandably so.

Read: This Is Catfishing on an Industrial Scale - Hired as customer service reps, these freelancers were instead tasked with luring in the lonely and lovestruck through a network of dating and hookup sites. from WIRED magazine

Proud Gorkhali Moment

Balen sir was featured in The New York Times. Supporters of Balen sir considered it a moment of pride for the Gorkhali community. On the other hand, critics argued that the NYT article only scratched the surface. Regardless, here's a summary of the article, and we'll leave it up to you to decide whether it truly represents a proud Gorkhali moment.

Meet Balendra Shah, a former music idol turned engineer, and now the mayor of Nepal's capital, Kathmandu. But hold onto your hats because this mayor isn't afraid to shake things up! Balen, as he's known, burst onto the political scene with his rap battles and music videos that called out corruption and poverty in Nepal's political landscape. His unconventional campaign, draped in the country's flag, caught everyone's attention, and he won by a landslide. Inspired by Balen's success, a wave of young candidates has joined the political arena, determined to challenge the status quo. However, his tenure as mayor hasn't been without its critics. While he's tearing down illegal buildings and tackling the city's infrastructure woes, some argue that his methods are causing harm to the vulnerable. But Balen remains confident, claiming that as the only structural engineer in the municipal corporation, he's uniquely equipped to execute his plans and transform Kathmandu into something amazing. Buckle up, Kathmandu, because change is in the air, and it's coming in the form of a rap star turned mayor!

Bidesh Tira Hernus

• Vice Media has joined the bankruptcy party! Remember when they were strutting around with a $5.7 billion price tag? Yeah, not anymore. They officially filed for Chapter 11 protection and are planning to sell themselves for a measly $225 million. Looks like the digital media world is going through some tough times, with advertising revenue playing hard to get. And get this, Vice's bankruptcy filing makes them part of the "Fabulous Seven" who all decided to hit up bankruptcy court within just 48 hours. It's like a retro throwback to 2008, according to Bloomberg. Who's next? Stay tuned!

• Hold onto your kebabs! The Turkish election rollercoaster is just getting started. President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan and challenger Kemal Kılıçdaroğlu couldn't clinch the victory lap in the first round, so they're gearing up for a showdown in a runoff on May 28. The tension is real, folks, with both candidates throwing shade at each other's vote counts. May the best leader win (and may the drama never end)!

Three news briefs and a lie

Three of these news briefs are real, and one is faker than most “biryanis” you find in Kathmandu. Can you spot the odd one out? (Scroll all the way to the bottom for the answer).

1. In a bizarre incident in Janakpurdham, things took a deadly turn when a man ended up killing his own friend during an argument over who would get the final puff of their shared marijuana stash. The dispute escalated unexpectedly, resulting in a tragic outcome.

2. Lawyers in Pokhara had quite the "beer-y" adventure during their group picnic. After chugging down 24 bottles of Budweiser, they realized the beer had expired two months ago. Shocked by the revelation, they quickly reported it to the district administration office, leading to a monitoring operation that uncovered expired beer being sold by a local store. The expired brew was eventually destroyed on a Golf Course, and legal action is now brewing against the seller.

3. Hold the phone! The police in Kathmandu have caught a sneaky scammer red-handed. Meet 19-year-old Aditya Karn, the mastermind behind a fake online mobile phone selling scheme. Using social media platforms like Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram, and Viber, he promised iPhones and other fancy gadgets for sale, but ended up swindling unsuspecting victims out of a whopping Rs 485,000. Karn's shady business has come to an end as he now faces investigation and possible action at the District Police Complex Teku.

4. Somnath Pokharel from Palpa thought he could become the ultimate math whiz by leaking class 8 district-level exam questions through a secret Viber group. Talk about taking cheating to a whole new level! Unfortunately for him, his pricey business of selling Mathematics question papers for a cool 5,000 rupees landed him in hot water. While he's currently out on bail, it looks like his days as a secondary school teacher are numbered. Let this be a lesson to all aspiring exam masterminds: cheating just doesn't add up!

Eta Hernus Quiz

Can you guess these Nepali song lyrics that have been translated to English? (Part 2)

1. By whom was this enchanting love spell woven upon me? By whom was my heart made to dance in a fluttering rhythm?

2. Pray, speaketh thou words of solace, for the eve doth draw to a close. On the morrow, we shall bear the weight of solitude, and our tears shall flow freely.

3. Yonder dwelleth a maiden fair, my neighbor, whose gaze doth grace me with affection's gentle touch, albeit fleetingly.

4. Pray, inquire not of the wound's exact abode, for in truth, I am well as I am, beseech thee, refrain from thy queries.

5. How lengthy shall thy sojourn in thy maternal abode endure? Mine eyes are set upon a succulent hog plum, ripe with promise. What course shall I embark upon? Shall thy presence grace my days or must I wed another soul?

A request

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(Answer to three newsbriefs and a lie: The fourth one is a lie.)