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Namaste! In lieu of an apology for missing last week's issue (life happened), we've put in a bonus segment on this one. Thanks for reading and spreading the word.
La Eta Hernus
Government
Unlike all the other weeks since we started writing this newsletter, this week didn’t have one main character. That’s only because there was a lot of bizarro news. Here’s a couple (un)important bits:
A rose by any other name: Prime minister Prachanda and his partymates have opted in for an image overhaul. They announced last week that they’d be changing the party name, logo, and a bunch of other things to start afresh. Many are skeptical, others don’t care. Usual Nepali politics s**t.
Moreover, Prachanda said out of the blue that there are too many holidays in Nepal and that he would investigate the possibility of lowering our days off. The next day, however, he declared a national holiday in honour of Janayuddha diwas. Reactions were as you’d hope they’d be.
President’s motorcade: The president went on a sawari two weeks ago. As they do with VIP sawaris, all roads were blocked so that the president’s ride was smooth af. Things turned south when a doctor from the trauma centre tried to walk to his workplace and was beaten up by a hawaldar for walking while the president sawaried. The trauma centre doc was then taken to the trauma centre (irony alert). The hawaldaar was suspended. The docs retaliated and shut down all non-emergency medical services the next day. We can understand the doc rage, but c'mon, docs, act like adults, hawaldaar you? Here’s your cue to start a Routine of Doctor Banda page and make bread.
Proud Gorkhali Moment
This week’s proud gorkhali moment comes all the way from Japan courtesy of Balen dai. There’s this blurry photo of a Japanese newspaper article featuring Balen dai’s face that made rounds on social media this week. Initial tweeteys claimed, despite not understanding Japanese, that Balen dai’s influence had reached Japan and this was a proud gorkhali moment. People retweeted it, people replied to tweets with namaste emojis and nepali flags, people got patriotic. However, upon closer inspection, the article just states that Balen used to be a rapper and the waste management in Kathmandu isn’t all that great. But why let a little detail like that stop the excitement? When has it ever stopped us? We continue to celebrate Balen's newfound international recognition as it is a Proud Gorkhali Moment.
Tech
This one’s sort of about tech. So, you know how you can get a free . com. np domain name if you have a Nepali citizenship? If you didn’t, you know now. For instance, if your name is Dolram Burlakoti, you can get www.dolram. com. np or www.dolramburlakoti. com. np (don’t bother clicking, they don’t work). Pretty decent initiative by the Nepali government, right? Enter Bikash Gurung from Dhankuta. He’s got a relative named Kanda Gurung so he decided to get in on the website hosting gig. You know where this is going. Dude registered www.kanda. com. np and started posting, you know, Nepali “kandas”. He ran that website for 2-3 years until techpana ran a story on him a couple weeks ago. How’d techpana figure out his details? For some reason, Nepali government just gives you the info, including email address and phone number, of anyone who’s registered a . com .np website. Here’s the link.
On a related note, here’s an article from The Kathmandu post on the troubling rise of Non-consensual Dissemination of Intimate Images in Nepal.
Khanpin
Do you remember the guccha momo from Ranjana Corner? Zoomers, this might sound foreign to you, but there was this guccha momo place opposite of Ranjana hall’s gate. Their achaar was to die for, unlike anything you taste these days. But fret not, this week, in our brand new section khanpin, we bring to you Ranjana Corner ko momo ko achaar recipe, courtesy of Sanam Chitrakaar’s thread on twitter. This is a recipe for approximately three plates. Adjust servings per your need.
Tomatoes-5 medium sized ones (10 if you’re using small Nepali local tomatoes. Note that bideshi style salad tomatoes won’t give you the same tanginess.)
Ginger/garlic-1 tablespoon
Cumin powder-1/2 tablespoon
Salt and chili powder - adjust as per your need, depending on how salty and spicy you like but stay safe out there!
¼ garam masala if you want it hot
2 tablespoon oil (RC tasted like they used mustard oil, but soybean, olive, or other oils should work too).
Water approx. 750 ml (grab that tumlet)
Instructions: Heat your oil. As the oil heats, throw in the fenugreek seeds and wait till it turns dark. Add tomato and salt (half of it at this point) then stir fry it rigorously for 4-5 minutes. Work those forearms, you need that workout as you’re going to be devouring 38 momo in a bit. Then add the cumin powder and chili powder. Add the garam masala if you like it spicy (who doesn’t?). At this point, you have to handle the pan like your situationship. The heat should be at its highest. Keep stirring it slowly and don’t let it burn. This is crucial. After 4-5 minutes add HOT water (cold water takes away the aroma). Now, treat it like your marriage. Bring down the heat to the lowest. Let it simmer for 10 minutes max or when oil surfaces at the edge. Add more salt if you need (remember, we added half of it earlier). Top it up with some dhaniya if you want but it’s not recommended for a full-on RC experience as the aroma gets all weird. If you’re in bidesh and using salad tomatoes (those things are disgusting, btw), throw in some lime juice for some tanginess. Serve it lukewarm.
Boomers/Millennials, make this achar if you’re feeling nostalgic. Zoomers, make this recipe for your parents. I bet they went on dates around Ranjana galli, fell in love as they shared a tapari of RC momo and went for a soda in a dark alley right after (this isn’t an euphemism). Happy cooking and happy eating!
Three news briefs and a lie
Three of these news briefs are real, and one is faker than your sibling who hangs up mid-phone call and says "network nai aayena." Can you spot the odd one out? (Scroll all the way to the bottom for the answer).
A lady from Achham has traded in her buffalo for endless hours of TikTok fun. She was reportedly spending a whopping 500 rupees a day on recharge cards to fuel her addiction.
A curious rhino in Chitwan National Park decided to leave the confines of his home in search of a quick bite. Unfortunately, his quest for a meal led him straight into a septic tank at a nearby hotel. But don't worry, the police have got his back and pulled him out of the smelly situation.
Tulamani Acharya, a doctor at teaching hospital, has been caught red-handed for charging a patient with a broken leg 750 rupees to use a wheelchair. Not only did he break the hospital rules that state patients can use wheelchairs for free, but he also pocketed all the money.
Last week, the Armed Police Force 11 was declared the best among all forces in the country. However, their leader's trip to the Kathmandu headquarters to receive the award on Armed Police Day was cut short when a CCTV video surfaced of some of their officers taking bribes.
Eta Hernus Quiz
Can you recognize this Nepali politician by just their hand?
A request
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(Answer to three newsbriefs and a lie: The third one is false. Answer to Eta hernus Quiz: It’s Harka Sampang.)