👀 Are we the worst country in the world?

Namaste! Welcome back to your go-to source for all things Nepal. Kammarpeti baadhnus, as this edition dives headfirst into the latest political dramas and more - you won't want to miss a beat!

La Eta Hernus

Desh

• Comedy Champions director Bishal Bhandari was arrested last week for driving under the influence of alcohol and causing an accident that left several people severely injured. When asked for a comment, Bhandari stated, “This is the fourth disaster I've directed under the influence of alcohol.”

• Maoist leader Krishna Bahadur Mahara was arrested last week, but confusion arose as his lawyers were unsure exactly which one of his alleged crimes he was being arrested for. Facing a rape charge, corruption charges, and several other scandals, the lawyers wanted to ensure they were preparing to fight the correct case. Meanwhile, doctors at Chirayu Jail reported that Mahara was in good health.

• Last week, Education Minister Sumana Shrestha tried to vibe with the zoomer crowd, but oh boy, did it backfire! She tweeted this number last week but was severely criticized by zoomers for promoting khaini usage.

• All the NGOs and INGOs working in Nepal had a meeting last week to discuss the country's development. They concluded, “Despite significant progress against Issue X, there's still much to do. We believe the key to lasting change lies in a bottom-up approach led by local communities. Let us empower them to create a better future for all.”

• The international terminal at Pokhara Airport is taking a culinary turn, with Anupam Foodland set to call it home for the next five years. Given the slim chances of international flights resuming in the near future, the Pokhreli authorities have opted for this unique solution. Anupam Foodland is gearing up to host weddings and bratabandhas, capitalizing on the spacious venue and ample parking.

• The X-ray machine that China donated, intended for Tribhuvan Airport, somehow made its way to the TU Teaching Hospital instead. But the nurses there aren't letting it go to waste. One nurse remarked, "Ah sir bags ko lagi ho tara ali ali dekhincha haddi muscle haru aba kaam chalaairachhau."

Tech 

Nepal's ride-sharing sensation, Tootle, has made waves by signing Nepali Congress leader Gagan Thapa and Indian Congress leader Rahul Gandhi as their brand ambassadors. Tootle CEO Sixit Bhatta expressed his enthusiasm, stating, "We're thrilled about this partnership as both of them perfectly embody our company's values. Just like us, they've been launching themselves every year for the past decade!"

Fatafat

Stat: In the latest 'Who's Who' of Nepal, a Himal Magazine survey dropped a bombshell - a whopping 87% of Nepali folks can't tell the difference between Kanak Mani Dixit and Kunda Dixit.

Stat: A study from the Nepal Electricity Authority revealed that Nepali dads save about 1,340 rupees annually just by dashing around the house to turn off every multiplug in sight.

Sports

• Monty Desai, Nepal's cricket coach extraordinaire, hit a snag off the field trying to snag an apartment in Kathmandu. Initially mistaken for a Madhesi, homeowners gave him the cold shoulder. But plot twist! Discovering he's Indian, they rolled out the red carpet with a chant of "Atithi Devo Bhava" and a sweet 20% rent slash.

• Prime Minister Prachanda had Nepali cricket fans buzzing with promises of night games at Kirtipur stadium, all thanks to new floodlights. But, when the price shock of those floodlights hit, he backpedaled faster than a spinner's delivery. The new game plan? Arm the die-hard fans, who are known for tree-climbing to catch a glimpse of the action, with giant torchlights.

Together With You!

Notice this empty spot? It's prime real estate for your small business ad! Hit us up if you're looking to spread the word about your venture. We may be small, but with 1000+ readers, we're like a cozy coffee shop where everyone sees your flyer. Let's get your business buzzing!

Bidesh Tira Hernus

• The US Immigration Department made quite the catch when they nabbed 28-year-old Suman Pokharel from California for his alleged involvement in a sham marriage with Kamila Smith, also 28, from Colorado. Initially suspected of marrying Kamila solely for a green card, investigators were surprised to discover that Suman already had one. It turns out, Suman tied the knot with Kamila simply because he really wanted to be featured in RONB.

• Prashant Pokhrel, an RBS alum and a student at Dickinson College, got the boot from his gig at the Climbing Center when the boss spotted his lack of chops. Prashant had a habit of schooling folks at college, dismissing their mountain climbing tales with, "Those aren’t mountains, in Nepal we have big big mountains." However, the irony hit peak level during the college's outdoor event when he couldn't even scramble up two meters on the climbing wall. Turns out, Prashant's adventures outside Kathmandu are limited to a few Dashain holidays in his purkhyauli ghar in Gorkha and let's not even start on his lungs, wrecked by Surya Arctic. Adding insult to injury, this wasn't his first job loss rodeo; he was canned from a learning center last year for jazzing up his CV with bogus claims of being fluent in Hindi and Sanskrit.

Eta Pani Hernus

• A recent study conducted by the Nepal Medical Council has revealed that 54% of Nepali men experience unequalispinatitus, a condition characterized by one half of the body being higher than the other half. The study concluded that a major contributing factor to this condition is the habit of uncles stacking visiting cards in their wallets, which they then sit on beneath their right buttock. The council recommends not stacking cards of everyone who goes "Ah sir mero card linus coffee ma basaula."

• Every village in Nepal's Yuwa Club has published their annual report, highlighting three key achievements: the youth group played Deusi-Bhailo, funded a picnic with the Deusi-Bhailo earnings, and organized a volleyball tournament in the village.

• Journalists at Kantipur Publications, who've been working without pay for eight months, saw a wave of support last week as peers from other outlets stood with them in solidarity. Rama Subedi, a journalist from another publication, chimed in, "We're fortunate to pursue our passion and earn 12k a month, but it's just not right that our colleagues at Kantipur aren't getting paid at all!"

• In a heartbreaking mix-up in Bardiya, a child died from food poisoning after his mother accidentally used Sarvottam cement instead of Sarvottam lito.

A request

If you’ve enjoyed the journey with us thus far, please help us spread the word about this newsletter by asking your friends, dads, maijus, neighbors, and your fupajus to sign up by forwarding them this email! If this email was forwarded to you, please consider signing up using this link! We've also got a discord server, you can join us here.

Our newsletter includes images from online platforms for illustrative purposes only, with no implied ownership or endorsement.