👀 Yo Desh Kata Jaadai Cha?

Namaste! Trying to finalize this edition of our newsletter has been a whirlwind; just when we think we're done, something new happens, sending us back to the drawing board. It's like playing Langur Burja with current events - unpredictable and always surprising. Is any of it truly important? That's the million-rupee question. In our quest for answers, we delved into the world of Twitter Spaces last week. Picture this: a virtual hangout where Nepali expats passionately debate politics like it's a national sport. Our content chief, battling the flu and armed with Promethazine, stumbled into one of these spaces and dozed off to discussions about uranium and American tents in Upper Mustang, guarded by our own police. The experience left a lasting impression. Join us in a Twitter Space today to continue the conversation about uranium (maybe)! But let's not get sidetracked. Dive into the chaos with us!

La Eta Hernus

Desh

Dhokhebaaj hau timi! Where to even begin with the rollercoaster that is Nepali politics this week? If you've been keeping up with this newsletter, you'll recall the dramatic series of betrayals and alliances that would put any soap opera to shame. The Nepali Congress, despite being the largest party, found itself outmaneuvered first by the Prachanda-led Maoists in cahoots with the Oli-led Communists. Prachanda essentially said, “Oli, you’re my bae.” Then Prachanda was like, “Forget Oli, Sher Bahadur, you’re my lion, good sir. I’ll be the prime minister for a bit, then you pick someone to rule for a bit!” But then, once his time was coming to an end, to no one’s surprise, Prachanda was like, “This PM position feels kinda good; let’s sideline Sher Bahadur!” Fast forward, and Prachanda, who was supposed to hand over the PM baton, is dialing up Oli for a reunion, aiming to sideline Sher Bahadur once again. With new allies like Rabi dai in their pocket, it looks like Congress is getting the cold shoulder again.

But hold on, just as we thought we had the story straight, whispers emerged that Sher Bahadur tried to woo Rabi dai with the PM seat to form a majority, contradicting earlier reports. It's all up in the air! And why is Rabi dai eyeing the Home Ministry, especially with that sahakari scandal looming over him? It's a tangled web of intrigue and ambition, folks.

If that didn’t make sense, Prachanda le paila Oli lai gathabandhan banaam bhanyo ani Oli lai bye bhanyo tespachi Sher bahadur lai gathabandhan banaam bhanyo, banaayo, ani Sher Bahadur lai lau hai ma ekchin prime minister hunchu, tespachi 5 barsha ko satta cha yaar, tapaiko paalo aucha, tapaiko choice ko laai banaamla bhanyo, Sher bahadur le ok sir bhane (like a fool). Ani aile chai Prachanda le “It’s your own fault for trusting me, Sher, bye felicia!” bhanyo ani aile aba Prachanda ani aru haru ko sarkar bandaicha. Esle tapaiko life ma k effect paardaicha? Tapaiko jiwanko Prachanda ko ho? Let us know in our twitter DMs.

Looking ahead: It's clear Prachanda is playing chess while everyone else is stuck on baaghchaal. He gets what he wants, no exceptions – a streak likely to continue. As for the new ministerial lineup, keep an eye out for some RaSwaPa surprises that might just give alternative politics aficionados a reason to smile. Meanwhile, the international mumfali gallery is buzzing: India's raising eyebrows at the communist camaraderie, while China's sending virtual high-fives. As always, take these updates with a grain of salt unless they're coming from Eta Hernus – the only news source that really gets it.

Balen sir: Balen sir, is under fire for his crackdown on street vendors, with rights activists penning an open letter urging him to embrace a more democratic leadership style rather than authoritarian tactics. They're spotlighting a recent incident where city police allegedly roughed up vendors, labeling it as inhuman and a serious human rights violation. Amidst criticism, Shah claims self-defense against what he calls 'CPN-UML cadres', sparking a debate on the true nature of the confrontation. With calls for dialogue and collaboration, the saga reflects the tensions between urban regulation and the rights of the city's underprivileged.

We've written about this before, stating that there doesn't seem to be a clear, easy solution. However, the recent surge of wild violence is truly disheartening. Despite all this, Balen's popularity on social media continues to soar. Mission 2084, perhaps?

Tech 

Kasturi dai: In the latest billionaire showdown that's got more drama than a Musk-Zuck cage match ever promised, Elon Musk has thrown down the legal gauntlet against OpenAI, accusing it of straying from its non-profit roots into the greedy arms of profit. Musk, feeling betrayed by the AI org he helped birth with a cool $44 million, claims it's become too cozy with Microsoft, turning high-minded AI dreams into cash grabs. OpenAI's leadership, swapping tech rivalry for court battles, stands firm against Musk's charges.

Nvidia: Nvidia just went full beast mode on Wall Street, smashing those Q4 earnings like a pro gamer on a winning streak. Sales sky-rocketed to a whopping $22.1 billion, up 265% from last year - talk about making it rain! And in the world of AI, where Nvidia's the reigning champ with 80% of the high-end chip market, they've got everyone from Goldman Sachs to your next-door tech enthusiast calling them "the most important stock on planet Earth." But keep those popcorn buckets ready, 'cause with US-China drama and a potential AI showdown with OpenAI's Sam Altman, this soap opera's just getting started!

Google too woke? Google's AI just took a little tumble off the chipleti! Sundar Pichai, the big boss at Google, had to hit pause on their new fancy image-maker, Gemini, because it was spitting out some wonky pics that had the internet buzzing. Turns out, Gemini was serving up some biased and historically sketchy images, and now the Google squad is on a mission to give it a major tune-up. Pichai's like, "My bad, we'll fix it," promising to keep the AI cool without the fool (we hate ourselves for writing that).

Here are some examples of Gemini's mishaps.

Fatafat

Stat: The Asia and the Pacific region is on slow boat to sustainability, with a new ETA of 2062 instead of the snappy 2030 we dreamed of. While we're kinda killing it in knocking out poverty and boosting smart, sustainable stuff, we're seriously slacking in the snack department, with hunger and health goals needing a major power-up. And here in Nepal, while we're scoring some points in the gender equality and health leagues, we're still seeing too many kiddos hitting the siraani hungry, and the equality scale's got some wonky balance issues.

Quote:

Esma kei take chaiana, aafai milayera bujhnuhola, k bhannu.

Read: Would You Break Up if Your Partner Won’t Post You on Instagram? (VICE)

Research shows that a growing number of Gen Z want the people they date to post them on social media. What happens if they don’t?

Kahi Nabhako Jaatra

Sports

In the nail-biting finale of the WAFF Women's Championship, Nepal's gritty showdown with Jordan had us all on the edge of our seats, ending in heartbreak during the penalty shootout with a 5-3 defeat. Despite Sabita Ranamagar's electrifying volley leading the charge, the tiebreaker was Nepal's undoing against the seasoned champs. Meanwhile, off the field, the buzz is all about the gender pay gap, sparking a fiery debate on Nepali social media. With the Cricket Association of Nepal (CAN) setting male cricketers' salaries sky-high compared to their female counterparts, echoes of past pay gap controversies (remember the US Women’s soccer team debate?) are resurfacing. As discussions swirl, comparing revenues, team performances, and the honor of national representation, it feels like we're reliving debates from a decade ago. It's like deja vu with a Nepali twist, except it's not as exciting.

Three news briefs and a lie

Three of these news briefs are real, and one is faker than nimki jasto taste aune nachos. Can you spot the odd one out? (Scroll all the way to the bottom for the answer).

1. In a scene straight out of a movie, a driverless train in India went on an 80 km joyride while its driver was on a tea break! No dramatic heroics needed though; it safely stopped uphill. Suspensions were served, making this runaway train a viral sensation.

2. A woman was caught at Paropakar Maternity and Women's Hospital in Kathmandu, trying to make a sneaky exit with a baby that wasn't hers. The suspect, who had been hanging around the hospital for two days, sparked police suspicion of a potential baby-snatching scenario. She claimed the baby was hers, showcasing some serious method acting.

3. In a plot twist that's more sitcom than statecraft, Ramharii Raut, upon resigning, decided his parting gift from the ministerial quarters would be three LPG gas cylinders. While no formal case has been cooked up yet, the powers that be have gently suggested he return his fiery souvenirs.

4. Imagine waking up to find your house has taken an international trip overnight! A Nepali guy near the Indian border got a rude awakening when his land was suddenly on the 'other side,' courtesy of some stealthy, night-time border pillar relocations.

Eta Hernus Quiz

No quiz this week, but we're sharing two standout responses from last edition's quiz for your reading pleasure. (Yes, we're heavy on the Twitter links this time, but trust us, they're worth it!)

Bidesh Tira Hernus

Ambani Shaadi: In what could be the plot of the most extravagant Bollywood blockbuster, Anant Ambani's pre-wedding bash set the bar sky-high with a guest list boasting everyone from Bollywood A-listers to Silicon Valley elites, and even a dash of American political royalty with Ivanka Trump. The Ambani extravaganza, hosted in Jamnagar, Gujarat, transformed the city into a global hotspot, complete with an airport upgrade to welcome international guests like Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg. Amidst luxury "glamping" and a culinary heaven of 500 dishes, the icing on the cake was Rihanna's debut Indian performance, rumored to have netted her a cool $7 million. With such grandeur, the actual wedding is poised to be the event of the year, leaving everyone eagerly awaiting (lol, yes, you, shreya) the next chapter in this opulent saga.

Israel: A US Air Force member is critically injured after self-immolating in front of the Israeli embassy in Washington, sparking a major emergency response and an ongoing investigation by police and the Secret Service. Identified in a live-streamed video, the serviceman cited his refusal to be "complicit in genocide" and voiced support for Palestine before the act, leading to heightened security measures including a bomb squad check on a suspicious vehicle, which was later cleared. This alarming incident, leaving no embassy staff harmed, follows a similar act of self-immolation at the Israeli consulate in Georgia last December.

Best of Twitter/Switter

A request

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(Answer to three newsbriefs and a lie: The third one is a lie.)

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